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| Fuck!!!
Well, Matt is suppose to be home tomorrow and guess what? PLANS FUCKING CHANGED AGAIN!!!!This whole changing plans thing at the last minute bit is realllllllly starting to get on my damn nerves. I JUST found out this morning that he isn't going to be home until wednesday or later. I've just come to the conclusion that he is going to be staying there until the middle of may or even the end of may. Might as well. I completely understand that it's the military, "it's what they do" but really? If they tell you a date, you might as well just tell them at the last minute when they are going home. Yea, everyone get excited about going home early, oh wait, you aren't, we are keeping you another fucking year. ((bullshit)).
anyway, it doesn't matter, him and i are fighting anyway. He fuckin blew up about the most stupid thing in the whole entire world. I have apologized to him 2 times yesterday and again this morning. He told me to "fuck off, and leave me alone" so fine. I'm done fucking trying. as a matter of fact, maybe i should just be done caring. there is NO excuse for him to talk to me like that. it was a miscommunication and he took what i said the wrong way..wayyy wrong way. It's like, I was in hawaii with what i was saying and he took it to fuckin mexico..that's how "wrong way" it was.
this is ridiculous. I'm complaining to xanga.
to sum everything up to whoever reads this, I want matt home, he has completely pissed me the fuck off, and I can't decide what is the "right" thing to do. I can't let him keep talking to me this way. I understand I hurt his feelings but when do you show or tell this person that enough is enough. I'm not going to threaten him with leaving.i don't think that that is right..but maybe those are the kinds of measures i need to take to get the picture?
anyway, hope you guys had a good weekend. enjoy reading my, probably most complaining post ever. lol
sorry i'm not a little more joyous.
not like anyone reads this anyway, peace.
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| It Is Official;;
I have to spend another fucking month by myself. Matt won't be home until the end of April. If plans hadn't changed he would be home tomorrow. Gosh! Just saying that sounds so amazing. Tomorrow is pretty much here, it wouldn't be long 'til i got to kiss him and touch him. Now I have to wait another month. && I'm not trying to sound all cry baby and shit. But this is my first time being away from people, on my own you know and it's hard at first. I'm getting use to it. But I know that if I were to live in a different place with different kinds of people and the place was just better all in all, I wouldn't have one problem with him being gone.
But Here....
people are different. Wayyy different. And I haven't come up with an excuse for them because I don't think that there necessarily is an excuse. Everyone is completely and entirely boring. The 2 girls that I am friends with, well I honestly don't think they know how to be friends. And I'm not exaggerating. There have been two or three incidents where I have stuck up for one of them and it's like it goes unnoticed. I mean, if i was friends with someone and they stuck up for me I would try and let them know that I was appreciative of what they did or what they said you know. Okay no, it's not like we are "best friends" and all that crap. But it's like I go out of my way to try and make these girls my friends, or closer friends than we are and ugh it's so annoying. They are just rude. I'm not going to go into depth about everything. I just really really wish that Matt would get orders out of here and we can go live somewhere beautiful and nice with nice people and people that know how to drive. lol
Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for the many things I do have in life but it's also okay for one to complain a bit right? This is my "getaway". Like i have said above, no one really gets me and to sum everything up....I don't really have any friends. Well, true friends. Like the ones I have back in Wichita.
I'm out for the night.
GoodNight&&xo.
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| So I've started an aerobics class. I went over to my friend Jeff's house the other night and was telling me how our friend Andrea started up an aerobics class again. Andrea's husband works with Jeff && my boyfriend. Anyway, her class is freaking insane! She use to be a fitness model so she definitely knows what she is doing. I'm so incredibly sore and going tomorrow. It's exciting because since i injured my knee about a year ago i haven't got to do much cardio and this is the perfect kind of class for me. I can get my cardio in and still lift.
I'm gonna look soooo smokin hot for Matt. ;)
So in 8 days Matt would be coming home but he's not. There is still a very very slim chance that they might come home at the end of March. But the military is known for their last minute decisions which is one of my biggest pet peeves but it's a part of matt's life and i knew what i was getting myself into when I started dating him and even when I moved in with him. It just sucks because i really miss him. He's my heart and I haven't gotten to touch him or kiss him or anything for a month. It's hard but i'm doing a lot better about this whole thing then I thought I would.
Good News: I might get to go visit him near the beginning of April.
See, it's kind of a weird situation. We are needing to know if they are staying til the mid of april and
it hasn't been confirmed yet. But! march is almost over so it's going to have to be confirmed in at least 7 or 8 days. so i can't buy a plane ticket until then. But another twist, also is, it can be confirmed that they are coming home at the end of march and in the same night everything can turn around. Just hopefully plane tickets don't sky rocket so i can go see my baby and freakin be in florida!!!
&& all of that was really confusing. lol
Anyway, this weekend, i have nothing planned except work so hopefully i can find something to do =]
Goodnight Kids.
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| So I have finally figured this damn thing out! I got a new layout and it looks wayyy better lol. It's not all that great, i didn't spend too much time on it. It's not like a lot of people use this thing anyway.
So I have finally been talking to matt a lot more lately. Matt is the boyfriend that is currently tdy. He was suppose to actually be home by the end of March and now it's not until mid April or possibly the end of april. it sucks, i miss him a lot. I know that this is one thing that "comes along" with dating a military guy. So i'm okay. Anyway! I'm visiting him april 9th!!! Oh my gosh, no idea how freakin excited i am!
My brother visited this past week and just got home today. i had fun hangin out with him. I took him to lubbock to go shopping for his birthday and that was fun. I didn't spend a whole lot, buut enough to know that i need more money now. haha.
My life hasn't been tooo entertaining lately. Plus, i'm tired and not really in the talking mood.
goodnight=]
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| So here's the deal, I haven't used this damn thing in 4 years so forgive me, i'm a little rusty.
Now;; On a lighter note.
I'm 20 using a freakin xanga to write all of my thoughts down, juuuuust in case they may get me in trouble.
My boyfriend is the light of my life. He's my prince charming and I love him with all of my heart. We aren't your typical couple. We are always joking around with each other and we get one anothers jokes and we completely understand when one is being sarcastic. We have our differences but who doesn't? The biggest thing is that we trust each other. If he wants to go out with his buds than that's totally cool, i would want him to do the same for me so we can each other respect in that sense. I don't want to be that girlfriend who doesn't trust him and is always picking a fight or always always bugging when he is out or something. being paranoid and fucking annoying you know? Just because you are a girl doesn't mean you are always going to get hurt. I understand that some guys are assholes, but i think we as women sort of make them that way. And honestly, i think a lot of girls don't know how to be in relationships. it's kind of pathetic to watch. Guys do things for us, we should do things for them. Who said valentine's day is only for girls. Girls, GET YOUR GUY SOMETHING!! anyway, i'm just blabbing.
I'm sick and don't feel good. Have a wonderful night!
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People call me Sadie.
I'm 20. I live in new mexico.
i'm that one , girl you assume is a bitch. But really, i'm the girl that doesn't take things for granted. My mistakes, i learn from and I don't have regrets. I'm the girl that you see with the perfect boyfriend and wonder where you can get yourself one. I'm just altogether not your typical girl. I love to workout and have a blast sucking at video games! I like trying things i've never done before. I like taking risks. If you don't take risks then you are missing out on something or someone that could be a big part of your life.
Live.Laugh. && Love.
